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You want some food?"
Damn right. And a cigarette. And a drink. Not necessarily in that order, but all now. Then I'll feel
human enough to take a shower."
You don't have to be human to wash."
No, but it helps. Come on, woman, move. Weeds, booze, and food, and don't waste time."
She gave me a cigarette and lit it for me. No drink on premises, she said. Blame yourself. I told them
to send some around with the food."
I thought you'd be only too happy to cook it with your own sweet hands, I said.
Housework ruins sweet hands, she told me. Don't you ever watch TV?"
Not where I was, I told her. Beyond even the reach of TV."
Next time, she said, it'll be for real."
Glad to hear it, I said. But not tomorrow morning, please."
When do you want to go?"
I have a choice?"
All the choice we can give you. As soon as humanly possible, but it's up to you to decide what's
humanly possible. You're cleared now. It's your party from here on."
I was suspicious. I don't really have a choice, do I? I said. This is a line. You're trying to get me to
voluntarily take away some of your precious responsibility. You were right a while back when you said
it's easier to be the fall guy than the guy who has to push him over the edge. I'm falling. Like a sack of
potatoes. I'm ready when you are, only not tomorrow morning. Please."
She didn't say anything for a moment or two. I guess I'd sounded a little sharp. But I'd just been in the
maiden for two days, and I was sore.
Finally, she caught my eye and looked hard at me, to prepare me for the fact that what she was about to
say was serious. Not that I ever thought any of it wasn't.
Monday, she said.
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It's not my birthday, I said. It'll do. It's been Monday all along, hasn't it? I didn't really have a
choice?"
We'd have postponed it if you'd said so."
No point in hanging around."
I don't think waiting would do any of us any good."
No."
There was a discreet knock at the door. Jenny answered it, and came back with a tray. There was steak
and potatoes, but only in very small quantities. The rest was all mush. The booze was beer. I don't like
beer.
Got to take it easy, she said.
So it seems, I said. Don't get the choice, do I?"
She shoved the tray into my lap. I'd recovered enough by now to sit up and make use of the coffee
table. It was at an awkward height, but you can't have everything.
Tell me, I said, one way and another I've accumulated quite a cache while I've been here. After the
flight, I'll be modestly well off. What can I actuallydo with my money?"
Whatever you want."
They'll let me off base, then."
Under escort, yes. I'm afraid you'll have to put up with the company of a Major Hurst or similar for
pretty much the rest of your life."
They won't get bored. I suppose the idea is to drive me back into space in order to get away from
them."
You'll go back."
Do I get a choice about that?"
Some. But you won't have much competition in the field of starship piloting. And we will put pressure
on you. But I think you'll ride titan ten without having your arm twisted. And eleven. And..."
I can count."
Quite so, she said.
I see, I said. When I come back, I count. I'm one of the family. I matter. My opinions have weight.
I'm not just a pawn. I get promoted to queen. Or thereabouts."
Thereabouts, she said.
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I always wanted to run a Project, I said.
All you have to do is come back, she assured me. Promises, promises.
I'll tell you what I do want, I told her. I want a crew. I want some choice about the boys I take out
with me. I want Judas Dancer and Luis Dalquier. I want Sam and I want Con."
You want them all out of the prison."
That's right, I said. All of them. Bedbug, too. Will I have the weight to pull that?"
I think so."
The army and the prison won't stop me?"
I don't thinkthey'll have the weight."
The army gets the publicity Hurst poses for the pretty pictures."
That may figure outside the perimeter fence, but inside the base inside the Project you're the man
that counts. Mike will back you. If Mike retires, Fred Jacobson will back you. I think it can be done."
I'm not fooling, I said. I want those men out. All of them. Including Bedbug. No matter how old they
are, or in what physical shape. Even if we can't use them as pilots and/or passengers."
We'll use them, she promised. We'll find a use for them."
I hoped she wasn't stringing me along. I really hoped that she meant what she said. I wasn't making any
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